Power In A Pseudonym

Let's start with the obvious: if you've ever written a sex scene you never want your parents to read, then you understand the title of this post exactly. That said, there are hundreds of reasons–all personal–to create things using a pseudonym/pen name/nom de plume.

The real power in a pseudonym isn't anonymity; it's the ability to showcase another part of yourself in a different way. It's a way to open yourself up to a different group of people, whether that be publishers, editors, or your fanbase. This is the person you become when you're at conventions or marketing your book online. In many ways, it's a whole different personality. One that may feel more like you than the identity you were born with, because this is the one you chose for yourself.

One of the main reasons that I don't publish under my real name is because that name now belongs to a whole different persona. Often when you work customer service–or in any industry, giving the state of the internet–your birth name and face are often assimilated by your work persona. Considering my day job, a lot of strangers simply see a cheerful, sometimes witty, smiling cashier. On occasion they'll get deadpan humor and quips of honesty, but mostly if I'm working the floor. What very few get is the more honest version of myself. The one with the acerbic tendencies, sailor vocabulary, and resting bitch face.

If we're counting, that's three sides of the same person all attached to the same name. A fourth side is the one I use to deal with the Beautification stuff–online and off. Beyond that, I've proven very adept at shifting like a chameleon depending on the company I keep, and what I want them to think of me. It's exhausting.

Being Hollow Ryan is pulling on another mask, but I like this one a little more. Hollow Ryan gets to talk about her books and her furbabies and the little things in life she actually enjoys. She swears a little less, doesn't express as many opinions, and tries just a little not to step on too many toes. What she also doesn't do is give a shit about the rest of the world, because she doesn't have to. Hollow Ryan writes books, lives in fantasy worlds, enjoys a variety of entertainment, and hates real life with a burning passion.

The power in this pseudonym isn't that only the locals know how my face and this name are connected. It's the ability to block out the rest and focus only on what matters most to me. Because life is short, and hating everything about it hurts too much. This mask helps it hurt a little less.

If you're trying to decide if you want to use your real name or not, some things to consider are: 1. Do you create certain things that you do not want associated with your real name (either by acquaintances, family, or people you work with)? 2. Do you suffer from imposter syndrome, and having distance between your "real self" and your creative work would help? 3. Do you wish to build your brand around your name in such a way as to make you instantly recognizable? 4. How much do you really like your given name? 5. How much do you really want to change your name?

There are lots of things to consider when choosing which route to take. As I said before, the reasons to use or not use a pen name are all personal. You owe no one an explanation. You also don't owe anyone a whole seperate personality to go with the new name. You can be just as much yourself no matter which name you sign your work with.

The wonderful thing about being a creator: you get to decide exactly how much of you the rest of the world gets to see. No more. No less.

Fun fact before I sign off:

...Contains minor spoilers for Avens...

...You've been warned....

I got the name Hollow Ryan from characters that appear at the end of Avens. They are: Holly, Willow, and Rowan Ryder. I took parts of each of their names to create my pseudonym. HOLly + WilLOW= HOLLOW. RYder + RowAN = RYAN.

If you've read the PMC all the way through to the Avens epilogue, then you know that Rowan, Holly, and Willow are all Alexandria Ryder's daughters. While drafting the last novel, I played with the names and lumped them together like I did. Then I realized that would be a cool pen name if the twins (Holly and Willow) ever wanted to start writing. Which is actually what led to the last line of the book being the same as the first, because I had this idea of the girls telling their mother's story under the name Hollow Ryan. Thus, I actually ended it as Lex being the one telling the story of her life to her own children. While I had intended to leave the name in this fictional world, something about it felt right. So when I finally made the move to publish the PMC, I knew that I would use Hollow Ryan as my pen name. (My real name, by then, was already no longer an option.)

For a while, afterward, I considered having another pseydonym entirely for my Vassel novels, but backed out of that when it meant building an entirely new and different brand. Therefore, I limited my scope to more realistic things and now I publish exculsively as Hollow Ryan.

And there you have it, one more personal detail about my writer brain happenings than you really cared to know about. Therefore, I'll end it there.