The Ways I Fail

First of all, I need to declare that I am a procrastination queen. I am the type of person that, even though I have time available, I will not use it to accomplish any task that I have on my to-do list until the last possible moment. Unfortunately, this extends very much into my writing life, which is where it hurts me the most.

As far as my career as an author, I think any of you reading this may know that it is far less than stellar. This is for a variety of reasons, so I'm just going to lay it out there.

Here is a list of all the ways I fail as a writer:

1. It takes me forever to finish a project.
   

2. I have a bad habit of needing to rewrite a project which takes me even longer.
   

3. Despite being a Millenial, I've never attempted photoshop in my life, so my ability to make cool graphics to aid in marketing is non-existent.
   

4. I am really bad at marketing. This is because I a) don't know who my target audience is because I write for myself and then hope that other people will enjoy it, and b) I can't convince myself that said audience needs to buy my work, and therefore feel dirty trying to shove it in their faces.
   

5. I do the bare minimum research of how the writing industry works, get overwhelmed, and declare I will "try again another day". Never mind that that 'another day' is six to eight months away. If then.
   

6. I cannot stick to self-imposed deadlines, and my friends are too lenient and understanding to force me to stick to ones they've helped me to create.
   

7. Even in my free time, I either scroll Youtube shorts for hours or play video games. AKA: I get no writing done.
   

8. I allow myself to be a mood writer. Which means, instead of focusing on finishing just one project, I bounce between three or four. The reason I know this is a major fault of mine is because I've been able to conquer writing challenges for at least a streak of 30 days consistently for several years. I know I can focus. I know I can push myself. I know I can find the time if I only prioritize it. However, I often ... don't.
   

9. I lack consistency. This is honestly the most consistent my blog has ever been, and that's because I'm writing and scheduling posts weeks in advance.
   

Honestly, I could go on, but it would basically be circling back to these points. I don't prioritize it enough; I allow myself to become too easily distracted by other things; and real life is smothering my creativity in ways that don't allow me to escape as often as I need to. It's ironic because I'm the only person at my place of employment that takes several vacations a year. I go to these incredible places and have awesome adventures with people who love me. Regularly. And yet I'm so ready to blame the mediocrity of my life for why I can't tap into the creativity of the stories I already have half-written. This post wasn't meant to be a list of excuses for why my writing career is on life support. It's an admission of guilt. I know that I'm the problem. I know that I lack the drive without an active readership. Well, I've identified the problem. Time to find solutions.