Consistency Is Key

I'm a person that struggles with creating and maintaining routines. I have all of these lofty ideas and goals about what I'm going to do–especially on a daily basis–and following through for a few months. Then there will be that one thing that throws off the routine, and I'm toast.

The only way to combat this is to give me reasonable, achievable goals that I like. For instance, a new Sims4 pack was recently released. When this happens, they offer side quests that allow you to earn items/experiences that you otherwise wouldn't get in game. The last pack they released was the summer camp one. I wasn't yet in the mood to play when I downloaded it, but there was this cute 'little free library' object that I could stick in my front yard if I played for a certain amount of time. I played literally up until the minute I got that thing, and then stopped playing until this new pack came out. This time, there are several things in there that I like, so I'm still playing until I collect all the things. And, actually, I don't really care about the rest of the stuff, but I'm so close to the end of the sidequest that I'm determined to make it through.

Lesson learned: consistency is key to getting rewards.

If you're a "normal" person, perhaps the rewards look like a clean kitchen, so you do the dishes right after dinner. Or less static on your socks means that you take the whole ten minutes required to vacuum. Or even having a calm mind before bed means nightly meditations. That kind of thing. Everyday acts = everyday rewards, and they're just as important (if not moreso) than the big things.

I am, unfortunately, a 'big things' kind of person. I like having grand goals, so small things often get shucked off to the next day. (Or never.) The irony of this being that I am also not reward motivated. I am spite motivated. I'm not someone that typically does things so that I reach something good. I do things because I have successfully bullied myself into doing it, because I'm in a constant loop of trying to please my broken brain with long-shot things it wants to do. (This actually helps with my depression, but is shit for my anxiety, lol.)

This year, it's the distant desire to finish two books. That's it. Simple, right? Except that I haven't been able to make myself sit down and churn out the words. So I settled for something that is actually infinitely harder, for me, because it requires consistency: 365 Days of Writing.

Right now, I have three books that I can bounce between to make this happen, but I've been super proud of myself for sticking with just the two I want to finish. It also helps that there are people that I really, really want to read these books when they are finished, so now I'm motivated to finish them in order to get feedback. Which, if I'm being honest, is something I've been lacking for a while. I write best for an audience. Not having one has allowed the ... more insidious 'what's the point?' thoughts to get louder.

In good news: this plan is working. I'm already well over the "normal" novel length of 50k words on both novels. Since I write fantasy, we'll say that the cap is about 100k, but 90k is the sweet spot. Unfortunately–on both counts–my pacing is shit. In the first book, there's so many new things happening in the character's life right in the beginning, that following that ride has meant that we don't have more than hints about the conflict on the horizon. In the second book... Well, I'm having fun with that one. Lots of banter, but the main conflict is more clear early on. The problem is that the resolution of that conflict is up to people who are not the MC. I mean, she gets the ball rolling, but where it stops is anyone's guess. Still, it's fun to write, and it's actually supposed to be a romance, but I don't know that it will fit the criteria when I'm finished with it (other than a 'happy for now' ending which can be resolved as a definitive HEA in later novels, should I continue with this world).

Another thing that I've been surprisingly consistent with is these blog posts. It's been over a year and I somehow managed to keep it on track; even if some posts were later in the week, it still counts. I'm hoping to hold momentum this year, too. So far, the spite/self-bullying is working.

At the time of writing this, I have a 59 day streak going. My lowest word count since January 1st was 20 words. My highest (that didn't involve reintroducing a previously deleted scene) was 1,108. And I can't wait to just get in a groove where I have whole scenes blossoming before me. But for that to happen, I need to get back to work.

Bye for now.

Oh, and let me know if you want a teaser of the two books I'm currently working on. The more engagement I get, the easier everything becomes.